OH YES JOHN MACKEY HAS A BLOG!!!!

John Mackey is the Founder and CEO of Whole Foods. He has some amazing views...check out his blog here:
http://www.wholefoodsmarket.com/blogs/jm/

ili got a job!

OH YES SHE'S AT WHOLE FOODS.
GO ILI, GO ILI, GO, GO, GO ILI!!!

This is like a dream come true...for me. Ha ha. No she is really excited and told me today that she is really going to like working for this company.

Seriously, it's an amazing company to work for, and the owner is my idol, so that's why it's a dream come true for me. :) When we move to Austin, that will be the first place I go looking for a job, since they're headquartered there.

To check out Whole Foods and why they're so great, click here.

Yay! Congratulations, my Hunny! You deserve a great job with a great company, and they're giving you full time hours and great pay...awesome! I knew you'd get it!

So now all the "new job new job new job" mantra energy can be focussed solely on Jenny! Go Jenny!!!!

~J~

Good luck vibes for ili and Jenny, and interview tips!!!

Ok Jenny and ili need some serious good luck to wend its way in their direction, because they both need jobs...Jenny slightly more desperately than ili, although 6-10 hours a week hardly qualifies as a job, so ili is pretty desperate, too.

So send them some good thoughts, people!

This does prompt me to post some well-learned advice about job-hunting. I've got plenty of experience, and considering I work as a Graphic Designer without an ounce of formal training as such, and got here by working my way up, I think I am by now an expert on successful interviewing and job hunting. I have never, I repeat never, been turned down for a job I actually interviewed for. Which means I'm doing something right.

1. Send thank you cards to EVERYONE who interviews you. While this is the last thing you do in the interview process, I put it first, because it is hugely important, and forgotten by almost everyone I know. Not only is it polite, but given how many people DON'T send cards, it ensures that you will stand out among the rest. I actually bring a card with me, already filled out with the address and stamped, and immediately following the interview, while it's fresh in my mind, I write a short note thanking them for their time, and mentioning something specific from the interview, like "I enjoyed discussing music with you...if I get the chance to work for [company], I'll be sure to bring in the latest Sheryl Crow album - I think it's your style!" Then I drop it in the nearest mailbox. In most cases, it arrives the next day and makes a HUGE impression.

2. Make sure your resume looks awesome. And NEVER print it on white paper unless your type is in color, or you have some other colorful thing on it. Black & white blends in with everyone else's resumes.

3. RELAX. This isn't the end of the world. It's an interview. The worst that can happen is you don't get the job, which remember, YOU DON'T CURRENTLY HAVE, so it's not like you're losing anything. You only stand to GAIN, so try not to think of it as a potential LOSS.

4. Smile and don't be afraid to show excitement for the company and the position. The worst thing you can do is act like you're NOT excited, because guess what? They WANT you to be. They won't hire you if they think you don't really want it. So show some emotion. Just don't act like a crazed fool...too much can make them think you're manic.

5. Laugh. It's infectious. If you can get them to laugh with you, you're in...or at least one big step closer.

6. Wear something they'll remember. Whether it's a brightly colored tie or hat or belt or a pin or whatever, just make sure that even if they don't remember your name at first, they'll remember "the girl wearing the green striped shirt" or "the guy with the Jerry Garcia tie."

7. Do NOT smoke before an interview. Most people view that as an instant turn-off, and many people are specifically looking for non-smokers. I have worked at several companies that asked for non-smokers, so make sure you don't smell like an ash-tray. Even if you do smoke, give them no reason to even ask. If your car smells, you may want to consider cleaning it out so the smell doesn't wear off on you. This is nothing personal, it's just the way things are.

8. Come with a list of well thought out questions. They love when you have taken the time to do that. It shows that you're concientous, and you're interested.

9. Before you leave, ask what the next steps are. This should be your last question. It makes them tell you their process and lets you know how soon to expect them to call, and when to give up hope, if necessary, so you're not wondering three weeks later whatever happened.

10. CALL THEM TO FOLLOW UP. This is a must. The ball is in YOUR court. There is no harm in calling them, once or even twice. The best time of day to call is around 10-11 AM. Do it about 3-5 days after the interview, and if they haven't made a decision or don't answer or call you back, call again in another week. If you haven't heard anything by then, then you can give up and move on.

Happy hunting!
~J~

Oh the glory of it all!

Check out the biggest project I've done so far...!



These are three banner stands for displaying at our trade show booths.
~J~

I Left My Heart...

...in San Francisco,
High on a hill
She calls to me.

Anyway, hi!

I've been locked away in the comforts of my grandparents' house for the last few days, and I never actually made it to San Francisco, which is just about 20 minutes south of here, but I will cross over the Golden Gate on my way to the airport tomorrow morning. So I'll drive through the city, even though I won't stop there.

I want to take the time to thank Jenny and Carri for the absolutely gorgeous flower arrangement they sent for my grandmother's funeral service. It was the largest arrangement there...a giant spray of red gladioli, and it was beautiful. My whole family sends their thanks.

So yay for online check-in on AA.com!!! I was able to check in this evening, thereby avoiding some amount of hassle tomorrow morning. Cool, huh?

I am writing this while my mom, her husband, my grandfather and my aunt Tina are watching What Lies Beneath on TV and getting freaked out. There are lots of "uh oh"s and "look out"s. :) It's cute. We have had a tremendous bonding experience over the last few days. In this time, I have connected with people I haven't had much time to really get close to over the years. Last night we all got together to pick and print the best photos of my Grammy to put on this display for the service today...and in doing so, we rediscovered how beautiful and loving she was, and how her smile sparkled, and how much love we all gleaned from her. It was so healing.

A new haiku moment:
Grammy smiled a lot.
Love was present everywhere.
Suffer no more, love.

And onto funnier things:
Jenny never dates.
She ponders o'er Canadians.
She'll never get laid.

And ooooh here's another one.
Jenny don't hate me.
Surely thou dost know I jest.
You'll get laid someday.

And then there's this one:
Ili and Jenny
Are the bestest greatest fiends.
Oops right, I meant friends.

I love haikus.

See you all tomorrow!
Love,
~J~

A funny thing happened on the way to nowhere...

I have this friend named Jenny and this girlfriend named ili. Let me tell you about them. They are two of the most stubborn people I've ever met. And that's saying a LOT, because I seem to be plagued by stubborn friends/family members, and then of course there's me...the most stubborn pain in the ass of all. Well not really, that's Jenny. Ha ha just kidding, Jenny (or AM I?)...

That's it. Not much more to say about that. I don't need examples. It's just a fact, like "the sky is blue" or "Donald Trump's hair is terrible"...blatant in your face facts that need no backing up, they just ARE.

Ok on to other subjects...let's have a haiku moment:
Many moons ago
People walked 'round with no pants.
Thank god for fig leaves.

Anyway, so Brokeback didn't win Best Picture last night. Damn. I was going to wear rainbow today in honor of it and everything. Oh well, I guess Crash was good too, but I need to see it a second time because I don't remember much about it. Except everyone in it is perty. And Jenny & I tried to watch Walk the Line last night but the stooopid DVD failed halfway through! Aarrrrgggh! And we were really getting into it!

I am excited that the rap song from Hustle & Flow, "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp" won best song. Yay for the Academy and its continued embrace of things non-WASP/straight/religious! Yay yay yay! However, I will say I hope the recorded version is better than the live version at the Oscars, cause it pretty much sucked, even though I still have it in my head. Of course I've forgotten most of the words, so it kind of goes like this:
"It's hard out here fo' a pimp.
Inny hinny hiney leeeeah fo some shrimp.
It's hard out here fo' a pimp.
Fizzy linda got no money fo' da rent."

Ok you people better be laughing at that, because I myself am rolling. Jenny, is this the kind of "funny" you were looking for??

Which brings me to another haiku moment:
Ludacris kicked ass.
Wearing Armani is cool.
Helena should've stayed home.

So I'm headed to California to attend my grandmother's service and make a pilgrimage to San Francisco, where I'm sure to spend all my money just trying to get across the bridge. But it will be fun even if I do wind up having to hitchhike back home because I sold my plane ticket for a trip across the Bay on the ferry and a latte at Starbucks. Hee hee hee. Any requests? I can pick up See's candy or sourdough bread or a crab or a keychain (but watch out, touristy souvenirs from SF will break you, so in true CA form, I'll be charging a 300% finder's fee.)

Comments, please...comments!!!
~J~

Your mother was a hampster, and your father smelt of elderberries!!!

Ok here is my theory (get ready, cause it's a doozy) on why half of all marriages fail.

Simple, really: women have changed, but men have essentially not, nor has the institution of marriage itself.

Let me explain. People have been getting married since, what, the beginning of time? Yet back in the day, the "little woman" was the homemaker, and the man went out and earned the money. He came home to dinner already made, the house cleaned, and the kids taken care of.

Nowadays, women are empowered with an education that teaches them that they can be anything they want to be, that they don't have to take "no" for an answer, that they don't have to have children if they don't want them*, and that they deserve respect.

Men, however, are still raised to be mama's boys. They are for the most part not taught how to cook or do laundry, their mom's pick up after them all their lives, they are coddled, and then they get jobs in companies where all the assistants are women.

Bring these two people together and you have a power struggle from day one. Oh sure, the dating part is great, because they don't live together. But as soon as they move in together and/or get married, the problems start. The woman comes home after a long day at work and doesn't want to cook. The man comes home from a long day at work and doesn't want to cook, nor does he know how. So the woman cooks, because the man only knows how to microwave mac n' cheese. He screws up the laundry because he only did it in college when he had to and didn't care what his clothes came out looking like ("what's wrong with putting a couple of red socks into the whites? At least now all the whites match each other...they're pink! I thought you liked pink!!??").

The man expects the house to be clean but the woman is tired. And if they have kids, there's more trouble, because the woman invariably has a job on top of it, but asking the man to take care of them immasculates him.

Anyone see where this is going? Marriage, and all the expectations that go along with it, hasn't changed, but people, specifically women, have...we are trying to fit square pegs into a round hole. Jenny thinks a bigger reason why marriages fail is that they aren't taken as seriously as they used to be. The acceptance of divorce as a viable option has weakened the sanctity of marriage. I don't agree. I think that's a direct byproduct of the fact that the institution of marriage itself fails because people think differently than they did a century ago. Because most marriages fail, people don't feel as badly when theirs does, and therefore they don't take marriage as seriously. A vicious cycle, really.

Marriage will continue to fail at an alarming rate until we adjust our expectations.

Oh one more thing, we need to allow gay people to marry, because most of the ones that want it have been living together quite successfully for a long, long time, and since they're of the same sex, they consider each other equal in the relationship.

Want to see divorce rates decline? LET US GET MARRIED.

~J~

*excludes women in the South.

By the Ass-Monkey's Command...and Goodbye to a Wonderful Woman.

Here's a new post, by my friend the Ass Monkey's command!!! I know, but I needed to let the Guide sink in for a while. Hee hee...

So my Grammy died the night before last, at 10:35 PM Pacific Standard Time, on February 27th. She was very ill and in hospice care, and I was waiting for the call for a week. She had been asleep since last Wednesday. The day before that, she was awake and talking more than she had in a while. She told my mom that she didn't want to die. Then she said "well maybe I can do it glamorously." That's so her. So when she was dying, my mom kept telling her that she was doing it glamorously. I love my mother. I want to be that good to her when she's going, and long before that.

My family was blessed with an overdose of love. We have huge hearts and we're very compassionate, and my grandmother passed that onto all of us. She had her faults, like everyone does, but loving too much was NOT one of them. Below is a list of what she taught me, by her example.

Things I Learned From My Grammy
1. Love as much as your heart will let you.
2. Play games until you can't play anymore.
3. Appreciate your surroundings. Admire beauty.
4. Be glamorous at all times.
5. Don't smoke.
6. Don't drink to excess.
7. Exercise regularly.
8. Read, read, read.
9. Be there for your family. Be generous.
10. Forgive and move on.
11. Fight for what you believe in and for what you want.
12. Say I love you every day to the people you love.

My grandmother's last years were hell, and I would never have wished them on my worst enemy. I hope that wherever she is now, she is comfortable and content and surrounded by love. I hope that if she was reincarnated, she will take advantage of the things she did not in this life. I hope she takes better care of herself. And I hope she loves just as much as she did here.

I love my Grammy so much, and I miss her dearly. But I'm glad her struggle is over.
Goodbye, Grammy, and thank you for everything you gave me and all the love you poured on me.

Your Yayden.