My Daemon

According to the quiz I took on the movie website, I am responsible, modest, a leader, solitary, and dependable. These are the characteristics of Anicetos, the Tiger Daemon. Which is awesome, because the tiger is my favorite animal, and I was born in the Year of the Tiger, and if I had chosen any animal to be, it would have been this. Imagine my thrill when he came walking up!

John Mayer Is My Hero

Check out the lyrics to my favorite song on John Mayer's new CD (Continuum):

BELIEF (Click to go to his site and listen)
Is there anyone who
Ever remembers changing their mind from
The paint on a sign?
Is there anyone who really recalls
Ever breaking rank at all
For something someone yelled real loud one time?

Everyone believes
In how they think it ought to be.
Everyone believes,
And they're not going easily.

Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword.
Like punching under water:
You never can hit who you're trying for.

Some need the exhibition,
And some have to know they tried.
It's the chemical weapon
For the war that's raging on inside.

Everyone believes,
From emptiness to everything.
Everyone believes,
And no one's going quietly.

We're never gonna win the world...
We're never gonna stop the war...
We're never gonna beat this
If belief is what we're fighting for.

Is there anyone who you can remember
Who ever surrendered with their life on the line?

We're never gonna win the world...
We're never gonna stop the war...
We're never gonna beat this
If belief is what we're fighting for.

What puts a hundred thousand children in the sand?
Belief can.
What puts the folded flag inside his mother's hand?
Belief can.

This song speaks the exact point I've been making for years: as long as people are fighting over religious beliefs, there will NEVER be peace. Zealots fight for their cause in the face of all reason. You can't turn them around; to do that would be to have them deny their faith, which is the ultimate treason. We are fighting a losing battle. I'm so upset at our government for involving us in this mess.

~J~

Jadyn Acts 23 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Update...finally!

Well hi!

I am finally surfacing after over two months. I have thrown myself into the teaching thing. I am applying tomorrow for the 2007-08 Dallas ISD Alternative Teacher Certification Program, since all my transcripts arrived yesterday, and that's all I needed. I'm also going to Brookhaven college to register and enroll in classes, once I figure out which classes I need, and how I can pay for them.

Disability is also in the works. I refiled last month, and the case is in Austin being reviewed by their doctors. I really hope they see that this is a horrendous, ongoing problem and that I need help to rehabilitate myself and get out of the computer-all-day world. The main reason I haven't blogged is my arm problem.

And no, that hasn't gotten better. I've been unemployed for over 2 months, except for a week of freelance work last month, and I haven't gotten better at all. Dammit.

I have also joined the Carrollton-Farmers Branch ISD Substitute Teacher pool, so once school starts on August 14th, I may have some employment opportunity. I am getting unemployment, but money is still tight. We all know what unemployment pays. :(

ili and I are happy...we celebrated a year on 7/11!!! We are very much in love, and we are very much excited about each other's future prospects, job opps, college, etc. Life is good.

We saw An Inconvenient Truth (the Al Gore movie about Global Warming) and have made vows to do our part in trying to save the environment. One thing is to switch out all the light bulbs in the house (which we will do next paycheck), and the big thing we will be doing once I get gainfully employed again is buy a scooter and have one of us use that whenever possible. Like, if we're off that day, use that to go to the store or run errands, since they have much fewer emissions and use less gas. I also want to start recycling. I think we have that option here in Dallas, but currently we don't do it. So we'll get a recycle bin and start that.

Ok so that's the update. I love you all...

~J~

LAID OFF

Aaarrrggh, I've been laid off. Ok this is old news. I was laid off two weeks ago tomorrow. But I was laid off, just the same.

So this leaves me with the age old question, one I thought I wasn't going to have to ask myself:
"what am I going to do when I grow up?"

I want to be a singer. Bottom line...that's my goal. I have this stupid stage fright thing only in front of friends and family. Oooh they just love that. They love that I refuse to sing for them but can sing the National Anthem in front of thousands of people at baseball games. I think they're insulted. Ok let me 'splain. When you sing in front of thousands of people, or in a dark theater or room, you don't have to look people in the eye. When you're on the field at AT&T Park in San Francisco, you're dozens of feet away from the nearest person. It's much easier, really...for me, anyway.

I don't know that I like having people look right into my soul when I sing. I don't know, that's the only way I can explain it.

So I'm looking for a band. I've said it before...I don't want country, metal, or Sleater Kinney. No no no no no. No Sleater Kinney.

And I'm looking for a job that will pay me well and not make me sit at a computer all day. Is that so much to ask? What is there to do that won't make me type......all....day......oh crap I'm typing right now. ili will kill me. I'm going, I'm going.

Aaaarggh how is a person supposed to search for a job or communicate without a computer these days????????????? And don't tell me to use the phone...no one answers, least of all me.

Ha ha...take care,
~J~

Going Crazy

Hello, my name is Jadyn, and I think I've lost my mind.

So here's the deal: I am one of the most bubbly, obnoxiously positive, "up" people that most of my friends and family know. They think it's annoying that I am THAT happy all the time.

Well it's changed lately. I have entered the much-feared Land of Depression, and I sure as hell hope I can find my way back out. Rage seems to be my latest symptom. I won't go into vast detail, but I'll just say that the drive to work this morning was sufficient to ruin my whole day. I will be going to lunch, and I'm determined to throw this morning in the trash along with my coffee cup.

Ok let's just go into SOME detail. How does crying, primal screaming, yelling, pounding, and choking on myself sound? Yeah...it sounds about as fun as it actually was.

I am tired of everything. I am tired of being poor, I am tired of my chronic arm pain, I am tired of outrageous gas prices, I am tired of TX drivers, and I am tired of my boss/coworker (I title her that way because she rarely acts like my boss) not giving me the review and raise I was promised back in January. I am tired of being bloated. Oh did I mention that I'm late for my period, and that it's definitely a factor for my serious decline in attitude? How long can one person PMS????? Plus, my cat, Boo, loves to walk all over me at night and snuggle, but she has no clue that little kitten feet and sore boobs do NOT mix. They have been sore going on a week now. When will I bleed??? Goddammit!!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaah!!

Gas is breaking me. I am seriously thinking of selling my car and buying a scooter. Actually, ili and I are one step away from selling her car altogether. She gets to ride DART for free as an El Centro student, and we can share my car if necessary. We really are thinking of getting a scooter for short trips, etc. Much lower gas mileage, and WAY cheaper than a car.

So anyway, today sucks. I hate Tuesdays anyway. Can I pleeeeease just go back to bed and wake up tomorrow? Please?

~J~

Welcome to TX: Land of Lobotomized Drivers

Ever feel like everyone around you is stoooopid? Feel like they're all walking around on autopilot? Just a little too "dazed and confused" for your taste? Hmmm...

YOU MUST BE IN TEXAS.

I have been saying it since I moved here. People in Texas are stupid. Now mind you, not everyone in Texas is stupid. In fact, I pride myself on knowing several native Texans of quite high intelligence. But one only has to look at the drivers to see: the general population in Texas, or more specifically, Dallas, has a lower intelligence level than other parts of the country.

In my opinion, anyway.

See, I view the way people drive as a barometer that measures their "smartness" level. Distracted people are all over the road. Assholes drive like assholes, cutting people off, driving WAY too fast, etc. Soccer moms with 6 screaming pre-teens in the car drive like...soccer moms with 6 screaming pre-teens in the car.

But the most infuriating drivers are the ones that oooooooze down the street / avenue / tollway / freeway / parking lot / sidewalk going 3.5 miles UNDER the speed limit, totally oblivious that there is a whole other world out there besides what's (not) going on between their ears. What, praytell, is the cause of this otherworld-like quality that causes such a vast number of Dallas-area people to drive as if they've been lobotomized??

Here it is...get ready: they HAVE been lobotomized.

Not sure if you've heard, but there are significant amounts of ANTI-DEPRESSANTS floating around in Dallas-area water. Now, they SAY that it hasn't made its way into our drinking water...YET. But do you think they'd admit even for a second that these drugs HAVE made it into the drinking water, unless they had a solution all planned out for when people find out and panic??? NO! Of course not! They may never even tell us at all! I wouldn't put it past them to just come up with a plan and then quietly implement it so it gets corrected without mass freaking out.

So I think people ARE drinking their lobotomies. Don't believe me? Use me as just one example: I'm intelligent. I'm a very aware and conscious driver. I read regularly, am able to multi-task quite successfully, do well in my job, and I use my turn signal whenever my car is going to move somewhere other than the place it is currently (like, oh I don't know, let's see...CHANGING LANES AND TURNING LEFT OR RIGHT). And here's the kicker: I don't drink tapwater.

Of course, you don't have to take my word for it. I'm just a pissed off and very opinionated non-Texan trapped here for a while and forced to drive through a throng of babbling idiots every day.